[AAR] Playing with Smacktards

[Zeppelin35]

Well this happened when I played as the MEC team on Muttrah City and was the worst instance of smacktardary that has happened to me. What happened was I spawned at the main base and needed a transport. I get into a vodnik with someone who wasn't in my squad named |SAS|Raccoon was driving and I was gunning. I had someone from my squad in the passanger seat. First when we leave the main base this guy drives the vodnik so slow that a turtle with rigor mortis could zoom past us. I tell him to speed it up and he does. When we get to east city center I start shooting at an overhead heli hoping to shoot it down but the guy doesn't stop. He keeps driving and we encounter a marine and I start shooting at him while this guy is going 50 km/h. I would expect him to stop after I fire about 40 rounds but no he comes up with his own brilliant plan. He drives the vodnik off a ramp, lands it in the water, and gets us all killed when a squad of marines shoots us from the shore while we where swimming. As you could probably guesses I was incredably pissed.

So what experiances have you had with smacktards?

[Robbi]

I was driving this vodnik and got moaned at for going really slow the other day on Muttrah...

[Solid Knight]

Yeah, I was playing Muttrah and driving a vodnik. I slowed down so the gunner could get a good shot at the helicopter off in the distance but all he did was yell at me to drive faster. So I drove around quickly and this guy refuses to shoot at any of the enemy squads in front of us. I hear him firing but I can't see what it is at and all I know is I'm not stopping in front of an enemy LAT. So I keep driving. This guy keeps ignoring the major targets and I get pissed off and eventually ramp the vodnik right into the water.

[victor_phx]

Yeah, I was playing Muttrah and driving a vodnik. I slowed down so the gunner could get a good shot at the helicopter off in the distance but all he did was yell at me to drive faster. So I drove around quickly and this guy refuses to shoot at any of the enemy squads in front of us. I hear him firing but I can't see what it is at and all I know is I'm not stopping in front of an enemy LAT. So I keep driving. This guy keeps ignoring the major targets and I get pissed off and eventually ramp the vodnik right into the water.

Awesome






Anyway, today I played Tad Sae with a dozen people playing at each team. At the beginning of the round, a guy enters my squad, says hello, grabs a SNIPER kit and gets out. He then creates his own locked squad and plays by himself, as if he was the new Rambo, Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris, or whatever.

At the end of the round he had a score of 0, 0 kills and 0 deaths.

If that's not grade A smacktardary, then tell me what it is.

[NL_van_Speijk]

I was squadlead in... Bing Mi or something like that? With the temple and the outpost and the village and such... Chinese side.

I tell my squad we're gonna take a truck and build a firebase near the middle of the map (to be able to fall out to any of the three flags). I spawn, get in a truck, tell my squad to get in as well. The truck fills up with blues, literally seven non-squaddies. I use "Bail out!" to try and make room for my squad. No one moves. I tell them in team to get out. No one moves. My squad meanwhile stands around the truck jumping and saying "we need that truck"!

I expect it to be common courtesy to leave a truck to the squad that first gets in it. That means if I see an SL run towards it, I tell my squad to take something else (best case: a different truck).

So there I stood for like... four minutes. People telling me to move, me and my squad telling them to GTFO, and me refusing to move. They got out eventually. We managed to build a firebase, but the moment it was done we had 2 US squads on us.

If only we arrived 4 minutes earlier....

[LeadMagnet]

Zepplin your first mistake was getting into a vodnik driven by a "blue guy".

[Outlawz7]

Bing Mi or something like that?

Bi Ming

[Caboosehatesbabies]

Well this happened when I played as the MEC team on Muttrah City and was the worst instance of smacktardary that has happened to me. What happened was I spawned at the main base and needed a transport. I get into a vodnik with someone who wasn't in my squad named |SAS|Raccoon was driving and I was gunning. I had someone from my squad in the passanger seat. First when we leave the main base this guy drives the vodnik so slow that a turtle with rigor mortis could zoom past us. I tell him to speed it up and he does. When we get to east city center I start shooting at an overhead heli hoping to shoot it down but the guy doesn't stop. He keeps driving and we encounter a marine and I start shooting at him while this guy is going 50 km/h. I would expect him to stop after I fire about 40 rounds but no he comes up with his own brilliant plan. He drives the vodnik off a ramp, lands it in the water, and gets us all killed when a squad of marines shoots us from the shore while we where swimming. As you could probably guesses I was incredably pissed.

So what experiances have you had with smacktards?

OMG DUDE, In all seriousness I think I was that marine you were shooting at!!!

Me and my squad got in a boat and drove to the Muttrah docks, yadayadayada. Anyway, we're approaching the docks flag when a vodnick comes tearing around the corner, guns blazing. I give the obligatory OH SH*T and tell my guys to scatter. The vod tries to run one of my guys over, misses, and drives right down the boat launch into the water, giving us a leasurely turkey shoot. My suggestion is that everytime you see Raccoon (I've seen this little kid a few times) ask him a question about the game. If he can't answer it, kick him from the squad and stay away from the guy. He is going to get you killed!

[Zeppelin35]

OMG DUDE, In all seriousness I think I was that marine you were shooting at!!!

Me and my squad got in a boat and drove to the Muttrah docks, yadayadayada. Anyway, we're approaching the docks flag when a vodnick comes tearing around the corner, guns blazing. I give the obligatory OH SH*T and tell my guys to scatter. The vod tries to run one of my guys over, misses, and drives right down the boat launch into the water, giving us a leasurely turkey shoot. My suggestion is that everytime you see Raccoon (I've seen this little kid a few times) ask him a question about the game. If he can't answer it, kick him from the squad and stay away from the guy. He is going to get you killed!

I prayed that this insident would get you to laugh so hard that you couldn't shoot but I guess it didn't. Grr.

[Farks]

Kashan or Quinling: almost everytime you play these maps, the only persons who take the armor or air assets are people who wants to get a buttload of kills... Or at least they think they are. They take their beloved tank, drive off somewhere alone where they can drive around in circles in the middle of infantry squads or skyline themselves on the highest point on the map. And then they get killed without even knowing what hit them. And, after that, they do the same thing over again for the rest of the round.

I consider this smacktardery, because it ruins what's otherwise very good maps.

And you never see any more serious PR- players play in armor or air squads, because they know they will have to play with these people.

[daranz]

I was on Muttrah once, in the MEC main. The only vehicle about was the BTR. I saw a squadleader fussing about it, entering it and coming out again. He never picked up a crewman kit, so I figured he was a newbie and didn't actually know what he was doing. I decided that, oh well, my squad might as well take the APC, then. The moment I get the crewman kit the guy actually gets his as well and jumps in the driver seat. So, I get out and grab my old kit. At this point, the APC driver floors it and drives off into the city by himself, leaving me, my squadmates and a bunch of other guys behind.

[gclark03]

There's some guy with a Hispanic-sounding nickname (ends in -ero) who always insists on driving an engineer vehicle or jeep...and does it badly.

[McBumLuv]

If we're talking about bad drivers, I think I'm probably the worst... If anyone can recall jumping into a wheeled vehicle on any map, you might also recall me being magnetically attracted to the trees, and not the road

In all seriousness, though, I've seen this Raccoon guy before, and he hasn't been my favorite squad member. Nothing against him, but now that I understand he's not so new to the game, I've lost some of my empathy for him.

[dagoober]

wana see smack tards? go to a training server...

[Zeppelin35]

wana see smack tards? go to a training server...

True. It seems training mode has the magical ability to reduce everyone's maturity level by 10 years.

[Caboosehatesbabies]

I feel sorry for Raccoon because he's gaining abit of infamy by being the most known "worst" PR player that is not actively trying to sabatoge the game. I mean, he doesn't TK on purpose, and he tries hard, he just does such stupid stuff and won't shuuuuut uuuuuuup!

The first time I played with him was on Ramiel and my God! He was giving us the play by play of every little thing he was doing, and half the time he was saying things that didn't make sense!

Memerable sentences were:

1."Spawning in 40 seconds .... 35 seconds... 30 seconds (and on and on)"
2."I hear M4 fire!" (As one of his fellow squad mates with a captured M4 is standing right next to him, firing at a LB)
3."Squad leader? What's the bottle do?" (this was right after .8 came out) quickly followed by "Ow! I just got shot!" and the squad leader saying, "Yeah, I know, cause you threw a moltov in the middle of us!"
4.(several times) "I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding to death, I need a medic! Medic! Medic! Where's our medic!" To which we all shouted "WE DON'T HAVE ANY MEDICS" (most of the time the SL had already passed out field dressings and was out)
5."I'm gonna put this IED at this door so I can blow them up as they come in to get the cache" (the door was 3 feet from the cache)
6. "Cool, M4!" (while standing in the middle of the street over the body of a guy he miraculously killed and just before the rest of the dead guy's squad promptly kills him)

and the one that finally used up the squad leaders immense patience *drumroll*
7. Me, another squad member, and the Squad leader had just finished killing about 4 USA soldiers near a cache. SL says "Ok guys, looks clear, I'm getting ammo from the cache" Raccoon, who was sitting in the building, on the cache with his SKS then shoots him as the SL comes through the door before he says, "Oh ****! Sorry squad leader, I thou-" *|SAS|Raccoon has been kicked from the squad*

[xanderburton]

|SAS|Raccoon

Wow Raccoon he was on last night, our squad was pined down by a couple of MEC soldiers and he comes out of no where and lands the little bird right next to us giving off our position so our squad leader just kicks him.

[jaspercat444]

SAS Racoon. One experience... Wasn't fun.

Okay, I don't remember exactly what we were doing, but it was Al Basrah, and we were leaving the main base. *|SAS| Racoon has joined your squad* Great, I thought, now we can get something done. (We only had about 3 people) About a second later he starts talking. And talking. And TALKING!!! I was getting kind of annoyed, but i just kept quiet. Then, a minute later, all I hear is "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" For a long time, and the SL Kicks him. So I have had my experiences with him.